Happy Thanksgiving!!

I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and remind each and every one of you: I don't want to see your ugly mug out shopping tonight! (Read that in the sweetest tone please.)

As I sit here thinking of Thanksgivings past I'm in love, with the holiday that is. What other occasion can we celebrate the harvest, the intercultural exchange of syphilis (woot America) and small pox (double woot Europe), the family gathering together to resent each other and over indulgence. And the cherry on top? My sister will probably makes us go around the table and say what we are thankful for.

With all the excitement of this year I don't know if it will top last year's awesome Thanksgiving.  Maybe it was the sheer number of people in attendance, or the fact that all of us got along for a few minutes, could have been the excessive drinking or just a nice combination of everything but I'm going to vote that last year, Thanksgiving was nearly perfect. It somehow worked, all of that food and all of those people. We even had a full day of classes before sitting down to the most enormous meal imaginable (I made two different types of gravy- two types of gravy is too much). The turkey was fresh, not frozen, which was pretty cool. The aftermath of dinner turned out to be interesting also. There was a panty raid, poor Jamie scrambled to get her wash greyed panties back, and it more or less turned into a brawl. We met the security guard that night, he was a bit confused.

This year taping hand turkeys to the cabinets would be childish, as would passing a bottle of wine around the table sans glasses. I will not carve the turkey because there are people who are much better at it than me. And instead of a small drunken riot, I'll head to work after dinner (a riot indeed, but of a differerent sort, I'm glad I'm getting paid for it).

Happy Thanksgiving.

But Last Week Was Awesome?

I must say that I was flying high there for a while. Nothing ground breaking, I had a good birthday, I joined a new gym where the general manager insists there will be no need for gym fights (he doesn't know me well), and had a more or less awesomely unplanned visit with the old roomies from London, hell even the bad party experience was fun.

But this week, this week makes me want to strangle a caterpillar and then buy a hand gun to wear in my belt (if you didn't know, I'm super against guns, sorry Kat). Saturday started well, then I rushed the 120 miles to work so I could close the store from hell because outlet shoppers are also sloppy hags. I got home at 11 pm and had only eaten a sandwich all day so I had some peanuts and a shower and went to bed. Waking up at 5:45 the next morning my tummy was pissed about the peanuts and my hair was nearly as perturbed about the evening shower. But I went to work and worked form 7 am to 1pm then I drove home and showered again, had some chili ate way too much and pretended to nap. At 6pm I left for work again because we had a meeting (not all bad but it takes me a not particularly pleasant 45 minutes to drive to that horrid place.) I didn't get home until 11 again. After a very pleasant 5 or 6 mile walk this morning I started the laundry only to get a text message reminding me that I have to be at work at 5 this evening: funny story, this is the first I had heard of this. My schedule says that I am to work from 5:30pm to 2am not 5pm to 2am. Guess what- the laundry is not done! I have to leave in 45 minutes and I haven't even eaten lunch yet. Hip hip fucking hooray!

Now to go along with the whole work thing the holiday season is approaching. And in my old age I've grown tired of the Broken-Home-Christmas, guess what, I work retail which means Dad that I will work Christmas Eve so no I will not be making it to your house this year. Also to my boss: my mother works Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so yeah you will be giving me the 26th off because I too like the family holidays.

It has come to my attention that I am not the only person who feels this way about the holidays, I will be inviting these people to Thanksgiving. Wear jeans with elastic waist bands please I plan on making way too much stuffing again. Also after last year I shall refrain from carving the turkey until someone teaches me how. Mind you I have to be at work at 8:45 that evening so it will be fairly booze free, thank you for your cooperation and, yes, I know my job would be more fun drunk but I need it until something real comes along.

But wait we still have Halloween! A cushy buffer between now and Thanksgiving to find a party and drink a bit too much. Cheers to All Hallows Eve!