Becoming the Nice Person I Used to Be

My mom keeps doing nice things, saying nice things, inviting people that she has disliked for 30 or so years to visit because "it'd be fun". Why all this niceness? She keeps saying "Somethings changing, I'm becoming the nice person I used to be." And I'm thinking the change of life usually does the opposite, makes you cranky. Do I suggest she sees a doctor? Changes in mood usually signify a brain tumor.

So does this mean that she's going to be perpetually nice? She hasn't asked about my rent yet this month, I left it in my car, for a week. She thought my snarky email to my grandmother in response to her whining about her age was a bit rude. All I said was that I, too, am aging everyday.  The woman told me I need to visit her, and I have to tell you she lives in a backward place and is a backward person and I out of respect for my elders I can only stand the woman for about two hours a year. I did promise that if I made it to her neck of the woods (a seven-ish hour drive) I'd take an extra day to visit. It was a sincere promise.

My new-nice-person-mom would visit her, if she didn't more or less hate the old bag as much as I do. Maybe that will be the straw that turns my mom into the callus role model I need.

Here's to hoping.

Death to Spontaneity

I am, by nature, whimsical. I love to just go and do whenever the idea strikes.

The idea struck last week. I don't have the time or the money to go but I want to, I'm itching to go. But without companions this trip is not financially possible. My potential companions whimped. I can't blame them, it's an eight hour drive for a basically one day, two night stay. But this trip is would have been guaranteed good time.

I think thats where my whim comes in. This two jobs, non-stop thing is killing me. I'm becoming angry again and my hips hurt like I'm an old lady. I want a social life, but more than just drinking every couple of nights because lets be honest the alcohol doesn't do much for my figure. Neither does working all the time. I'm too tired to workout as much as I'd like too, especially with the hips hurting before the run.

So next time I catch a whim, I'm running with it. Time and money won't stand in my way.

Impulse Control

I have the urge to run away.

I don't know where I'm driven to go but away would work just fine. I have been considering the roots of this urge and I'm going to offend a hell of a lot of good friends when I reveal why I need to escape. Sorry good friends, this isn't personal.

My renewed urge to start anew is partially the result of a new batch of college graduates (congrats!). Their graduation isn't their fault so much as it is just how time moves. My hang up isn't even with them finishing school but rather with them looking for the same jobs as I am.

In an awesome world I'd be ok with this competition, it would drive me to be better but I'm beginning to break under the lack of personal development. Yeah so in a minor freak out I hung some cheap prints in my room and added mismatched knobs to my dresser and am considering a new bedspread (but those are pricey).

Personal development. It's a funny thing, I used to be so good at it. Traveling to new places and trying new things but I haven't even tried a new restaurant in like, forever. I really need to get on with it.

Maybe with the short return of a very fine friend will be the kick in the pants I need. Also cross your fingers for a second interview.