Hope has a funny way of shining through even when you least expect it. I put in my notice at the dreaded retail job and applied myself to applying to jobs. Got a near immediate hit, woot! Interviewed today, woot! And can see myself making money now, being happy, moving away eventually. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Hope is the interviews, my friend Katie and I each had one today and are praying that it's the out we've each been looking for. My birthday twin started his trudge though retail hell today, for a good cause, he's back in school, he'll finish it soon enough and be back to work in the real world.
So we each have our little taste of hope. And it is sort of a fleeting taste, now that things have started rolling we take a passive role in respective fates. Hoping. Waiting. It's enough to make one drink. But maybe tomorrow night, tonight we're broke.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Job Hunting
It has been more than a week since I put some serious effort into looking for a job. I like to pretend that it's because I've had a bit of positive feed back but in reality its much closer to the rejection I've suffer combined with an entire years worth of failure falling onto my shoulders and this week I feel like giving up.
I've had a couple of freak outs in the past year, I was talked down from a ledge (figurative, but I'm ready to take it out on my hair again) and am considering going to back to school, not because I've paid off the original degree but because if I do enroll as a full time student the loans will be deferred. I've started drinking coffee like its water and stopped drinking water. I was running between five and 12 miles a day at the beginning of this year, now I'm doing a lazy four every couple of days (lazy because I walk about half of it).
I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do at this point, I lack connections, I'm not the pretty girl who can waltz into an office and bat my lashes into a full time job that seems relevant to what I want to do. I was told this year that it would be better for me if I were the type of girl who giggled and smiled all the time, and while I'm sure I'd see a change in people's attitude toward me I wouldn't be happy because I'm just not that girl, she has her place and I'm here to balance her enthusiasm out.
I just need a big fat change. Until then I'll just have to play pretend and hope that the world comes around for me.
I've had a couple of freak outs in the past year, I was talked down from a ledge (figurative, but I'm ready to take it out on my hair again) and am considering going to back to school, not because I've paid off the original degree but because if I do enroll as a full time student the loans will be deferred. I've started drinking coffee like its water and stopped drinking water. I was running between five and 12 miles a day at the beginning of this year, now I'm doing a lazy four every couple of days (lazy because I walk about half of it).
I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do at this point, I lack connections, I'm not the pretty girl who can waltz into an office and bat my lashes into a full time job that seems relevant to what I want to do. I was told this year that it would be better for me if I were the type of girl who giggled and smiled all the time, and while I'm sure I'd see a change in people's attitude toward me I wouldn't be happy because I'm just not that girl, she has her place and I'm here to balance her enthusiasm out.
I just need a big fat change. Until then I'll just have to play pretend and hope that the world comes around for me.
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