With school ending for the summer, and for good, for many of my friends I am faced with the dilemma of a social life. I know what do I have to bitch about, I might get to have a drink or make an ass of myself in public, I should be happy as a pig in poo, and I am, don't think otherwise, but my social life comes with many strange happenings and many complications.
So I was telling my mom that one of my friends will be home tomorrow (yes I still live with my mom, I graduated six months ago what do you want from me??) and wants to hang out Friday. She was like "Well, tell said friend you can't, you have plans." And I do, plans to have drinks with former colleagues, one of whom my mother is convinced I'll snag for a date (yeah that maybe be partially my fault, I said I liked him, and we'll get married and have babies and that'd be alright with me.) but I barely know him, and am socially retarded, boys make me have to dropsies and make me lose words, and words are my thing... (or they were but since I'm back to working a job that a retarded handless monkey could do, I my vocabulary is shrinking and my already horrendous spelling is turning putrid at any attempt).
After I left my mom downstairs for a little while she called my sister and I down to get a few things to take upstairs (I'm still only 3 years old some days) and then tattled to my sister that I was in a bad mood because "Said friend asked Megan out Friday but she has plans." Not the case, and in my super genius state of pissed offness I said:
I'm not mad because of that. I'm mad because you keep telling me what to do and I am perfectly capable of ruining a friendship on my own thank you.
Which is true but silly me she threatened to kick me out for being disrespectful.
I want you to know that I don't enjoy sticking my foot in my mouth, but I continue to do it because at the end of the day people have to know that I am not going to sit by and take whatever I am given (that goes for you Louis Ceroni of Hamilton, I know who you are and where you live, who your kids are and where they go to school, I know where you go to church and where you work, and I suspect your wife either make more money than you or uses toys to get off because you're not good enough- if I'm wrong you need to find a better reason to be an asshole, asshole.
And about the friendship I'm perfectly capable of destroying on my own, I've been working at it for five years, I've perfected the art of cutting my nose of to spite my face and pining over someone who doesn't and probably won't ever want me. So maybe she has a point, bending over backwards for him might not be the best idea, but I'm sinking in a deep hole right now and I'm more than looking forward to the week of mind games that is about to unfold. I never intended to give up my other plans to spend time with him. But I'm not going to tell him we're going to hang out then go out and call him later and be like woops sorry forgot. Its mean, which works for me right now, I'm tired of the whole situation but being mean won't wind the heart of the stupid boy who is my friend.
Neither will being homeless.
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