As If the Movies Weren't Parody Enough

This book is pure evil:





I would like to thank The Harvard Lampoon for creating such an enthralling parody of the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer that I actually have to read the effing tweeny-bopper-sexless-sexy-vampire series. I do not wish to do so but now my curiosity is peaked and my sister just happens to have the first book just laying around (though its not hers its Katie's which means I cannot deface it as I go).

I shall soon embark on this soul sucking journey into, what I understand to be, poorly written drivel. If I don't make it out tell my mother I love her.

Ok.

Here is how it is. I'm not homeless or jobless but I'm still broke.
I'm going to have to start applying for jobs on a regular basis.
I'm thinking of telling you about said search but I'm also going to work at the Ann Taylor and do an internship. Maybe I'll just keep you posted on all of it.

I wish I had my very own computer for this.


Wait, wait!
The Tele just told me that the terrorists are going to start using botox against us. Thats it. Screw all of this, I'm going underground. I'll survive on canned green beans, botulism will get me before botox.

Wait again!
They're the same thing, the world is just going to end.