I was super excited about taking that test. And after 10 months sans tests I knew I'd be rusty but I know tests. I had it, not in the bag, but I had it. So I got my results today, I missed passing by 12.6 points. Now I'm sitting here typing this drinking hot chocolate, I might cry. Not because I didn't pass, that happens sometimes but because right now not passing hurts too deep. I can't let it go, I need to get away and I can't.
I could have a drink, but drinking alone defeats the purpose in this case and I have to be at work at 7, as does my geographically nearest friend, all the others are too far away. I know that drinking is not the answer and let me assure you that I actually drink on a fairly rare basis these days. But drinking is a very social activity for me, not as in I need to drink to be social, but more drinking occurs and good times are had sometime between a beer and falling asleep on the floor of some friends parents' house (because at 23 most of us cannot find lucrative enough jobs to move out of our parents homes).
The upside is I have an interview for what seems to be a potentially awesome but is also part time and in Baltimore. If another person points out how far the drive is, I will gather up all the hair that is dropping out of my head and sprinkle it in their bed. My hair is fine, it's a disgusting feeling, and I'm potentially balding again.
Maybe a panic attack is a good way to go?
Or I should buy a sports car... I'd prefer a pony but ponies don't speak directly of mid-life crisises.
Someone figure my life out for me and let me know when you do, I'll be eternally greatful.
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