Hows that for clinical terms, eh? And alliteration to boot!
But seriously this here post is just a late, Monday there was an incident (I heard second hand, thank everything holy) at the outlet mall where I work half my life.
So the story goes there was an older dude walking around the mall with tight, and from my understanding they were tight to the point that his penis was only veiled in the sense that he had it covered with fabric, sweatpants. I've heard several people report that they noticed this during their pre-work/break strolls but felt uncomfortable mentioning it to coworkers mostly because they didn't want to seem like super creepers, the situation, it seemed at the time, was one of misfortunate (as opposed to unfortunate?) fashion, poor dressing, disgusting negligence. Then it turned sinister.
My sister had customers return to her store asking for security (if you didn't know outlet mall cops are even more worthless than mall cops) to be called. After a bit of managerial coxing the girls who returned finally explained that this man was outside, beware clinical term here, masturbating, now digression from the clinical, he was jerking it in public. Three stores had reported him for choking the chicken in public, security hunted the meat beater to no avail.
The Monday Masturbater got away!
How is it that the outlet mall cops let him get away... well they were in their truck behind the mall chatting on the phone and peeing into cups. This is what they do. Why would they stop people from being exposed to public wanking?
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