There Are Two Red Cadillacs in the Parking Lot

I've run into many a strange thing in my years of customer service but lately I have been pleasantly surprised by people's ability to surprise me with more strangeness.

Since I am now working at a bank I have to deal with some sensitive info, like I did when I worked at the doctors' office (good times) an one would think that because of my access to said info I would be treated with a smidgen of respect. And I'll tell you know most people are nice and polite. Thats one of those things, one person stands out when their not, ruining everyone's reputation in the process.

Anyhow, the other night I was working the drive-up after hours and a woman sent me a slew of rebate cards. I was puzzled and told her that I wouldn't be able to process them and she should come back when the lobby was open and someone more knowledgeable could help her. And in response I got:

Mary said you could do it.

And I replied that I'm sure there was a way but in the drive-up after hours I could not. She said:

Then get Mary to do it.

And as pleasantly as I might I informed her that Mary doesn't work in my bank. To which she said:

There are two red Cadillacs in the parking lot. One of them can help me.

And I should have said, "Oh, you like those? They're mine." or "I bet the dentist would be most excellent at depositing rebate cards into you're joint checking account." But instead I was all apologetic. Funnily enough two days later the same woman showed up in the lobby and insisted that Mary help her. Mary was called and indeed there was a way to do what she wanted but the manager, assistant manager, Mary and some others were needed to put their brains together and figure it out.

I also had a man talk to softly at me through a window and when I asked him to repeat himself he was all like "mamemant or Lincoln" and I was like "I'm sorry?" and he was like "mahenaahdnn, he was the 17th president of the United States!" and I was like, "You mean Andrew Johnson? Why didn't you say so?" How good am I?

I hope that my cheeky retorts come to me faster so that I don't have to shame myself by apologizing for something I couldn't do one way or the other. Also thank you US history for helping me with that one. I never though you'd be so good to me!