Light Bulb

Today has been a day of revelation. I know very well that I have fallen into a dark space but such is life and experience tells me that spending money I don't have and a short period of bulimia-esque binges and a few days of starvation I'll be back to my old self.

My light bulb moments came when I was crying while driving (I don't suggest this). I've come to realize that in some cases it is me and in some cases it isn't. I am a bit of a monster, I cracked my neck at a middle-aged woman that butted in front of me in line at the grocery store and she got the hint. I also realized that until I become more chipper (ain't gonna happen) and dress in candy colors (I'll stay away from black, but candy, nope) shrink about two inches, become less assertive in nearly every way, and lose the blond I can't be what the I want to be. I am not a monster for loving who I am even when I am.

The light bulb kinda makes me want to vomit.

The neck cracking thing, because I was in a confrontational mood, was awesome.

You're all like, "Wow, Bitch is Crazy!" and I'll agree, in a sort of fleeting way I have lost my grip. Give me a few weeks and if I haven't become an raging alcoholic I'll be an awesome rut free version of me.

I'm applying to a grad program for next summer. I'm sending out unsolicited resumes again. I'm trying to figure out how to find a new physical location, this place where I live is hilarious but it's not helping me. I'll be ok, my life will be a bit tilted but maybe that's what I need.

I could use a more interesting social life, if you'd like to help let me know, I'm around.

I could use a bigger balance in my bank account, if you're gonna knock over a bank, I'm in.

You need someone to slash some tires or key a car- call me within the week, after that, I don't know if I can help.

Here's to living this thing called life!